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Malaka: The Shocking Truth Behind Greek Slang Revealed

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Last updated on June 20th, 2024 at 12:01 pm

Malaka(s) – it’s like the ultimate crash course in Greek slang that every tourist inevitably stumbles upon!

Seriously, it’s like the unofficial welcome committee’s secret handshake. You’ll hear it tossed around so casually by the locals that you might join the Malaka chorus.

What does malaka mean in Greek?

Now, let’s unravel the mystery: What the heck does “Malaka” actually mean in Greek? And is it a golden ticket for conversation or a recipe for disaster?

You may wonder: Is there any difference between ‘Malaka’ and ‘Malakas’? There is no difference, but Greeks often add an ‘s’ at the end of many nouns. Similarly, when they move abroad, they often drop the ‘s’ from their names.

For example, Kostas in the USA becomes Kosta, Nikos becomes Niko, Yannis becomes Yanni, etc.

Back to Malaka!

Malaka(s) is a versatile word following some rules: When referring to someone you hate, “Malaka” means “jerk“, “asshole” or “motherfucker”, while when describing someone you want to despise, it translates to “wanker“, “idiot” “stupid” or similar terms. However, when talking to a close friend, it can mean “Hey buddy” or “Come on, pal“, “dude” or “Mate “. See? It’s not that complicated!

But the real meaning is one: ‘Wanker’

So, when can you use it without fear? Buckle up, because this article’s got your back, fellow traveler! We’re diving headfirst into the magical realm of Malaka etiquette, guiding you through when to unleash your inner Malaka and when to keep it in check.

Let’s make sure you’re armed with the perfect Malaka-moment, and avoid any accidental Malaka mishaps!

Origin of the word Malakas

Once malakas always malakas
Once malakas always malakas

Alright, buckle up for a wild linguistic ride, because we’re about to dig into the ancient origins of a word that’s been passed down through the ages like a raunchy family heirloom.

We’re talking about the one and only… drumroll, please… “Malakas”!

Can you imagine ancient Greeks chilling with their scrolls and togas, throwing around words like “Malakia” and “Malakos.”?

Back then, these words were all about mental illness and “softness,” meaning weak, depraved, or even effeminate. It’s like they had an early version of the insult dictionary!

Fast forward to today, and “Malakas” has taken a more, let’s say, “focused” meaning. We’re talking “masturbator,” “wanker,” and all-around colorful ways of describing solo bedroom activities.

But wait, there’s more! This word has more twists than a Greek drama – it can be as friendly as a high-five or as nasty as a prank gone wrong.

So, you’re in Greece, surrounded by locals casually dropping “Malakas” like it’s punctuation. But here’s the twist – it can either mean “asshole” or “buddy.” Talk about an emotional rollercoaster!

So, here’s the survival guide: unless you’re tight as a Greek-knit sweater with someone, maybe save the “Malakas” for your closest buds. And even then, proceed with caution if you’re aiming for polite chitchat.

An old Greek saying goes something like: “We became doctors to cure every illness and Malakia.” Yep, they linked “Malakas” to medicine. Talk about creative job perks!

And remember medieval times? Turns out folks thought that wanking was bad news for the ol’ noggin. So, if you were caught wanking, congrats, you were officially “less clever” than average. Classic medieval logic, right?

But it doesn’t stop there! The female version of “Malakas” is “Malakismeni” or “Malako,” which the cool Greek Diaspora kids throw around. It’s like they’ve got their very own linguistic secret handshake.

So, next time you’re in Greece and you hear “Malakas” left and right, just remember – it’s like a linguistic chameleon. Depending on tone, context, and how many souvlakis you’ve shared, it could be a heated quarrel or a friendly heart-to-heart.

Just embrace the “Malakas” magic and enjoy the linguistic rollercoaster ride!

Today’s Meanings

Alright, folks, let’s dive into the enchanting world of “Malakas,” where meanings swirl around like a Greek salad at a party!

The Masturbator since Middle Ages was considered the Idiot and everything around it, and still is.

And masturbator synonym is the famous Malaka(s). We mean a person who’s the king or queen of cluelessness. You drop a hint, they miss it by a mile. Are people teasing them? They’re like, “Huh? What mocking?”

Meet the champ of misunderstanding, the grandmaster of being fooled. Yep, it’s like they’ve got a secret talent for turning simple conversations into a game of verbal twister!

Now, drumroll, please… let’s unveil the real deal: “Malakas” translates to the MVP of IQs that decided to take an extended vacation. Think about it – if brainpower were a rollercoaster, they’d be on the kiddie ride!

In the wild jungle of social circles, at work, or wherever minds mingle, “Malakas” is like a neon sign pointing to the low IQ club. It’s the universal signal for “Hey, we’ve got a live one here!”

So, there you have it, folks: “Malakas” = Master of IQs lower than the average. It’s like calling out someone’s brain cells for playing hooky.

Just remember, the next time you hear it tossed around, it’s like a secret handshake for the IQ-challenged squad!

Greek workshop - Only the asshole works
Greek workshop – Only the asshole works

When not to use the word Malakas

Alright, let’s decode the “Malakas” enigma and keep your nose unbroken, shall we? Buckle up, language explorers, because this is the Greek word maze you don’t wanna wander into without a map!

“Malakas” is like a sassy pet dragon – sure, it can be fun, but sometimes it might breathe fire when you least expect it!

Here’s the ultimate guide to navigating the “Malakas” minefield:

Rule 1: Gender Alert!

Ladies and gents, whether you’re crushing or cuddling, never toss “Malakas” like confetti. If you’re a guy, don’t say it to a gal – it’s like handing her an insult-wrapped bouquet. And hey, gals, same rule for the dudes – calling them this is like gifting them a not-so-shiny dunce cap.

Rule 2: First Impression Blues

Hold onto your hats, folks. If you’ve just met someone and think “Malakas” is a fancy icebreaker, hold that thought. It’s an icebreaker all right – for breaking the bridge between you two!

Rule 3: Stranger Danger

Think that you’re walking down the street, and a wild “Malakas” escapes your lips to a stranger. Whoosh! Brace yourself for a tsunami of trouble. Expect weird stares, raised brows, and a sudden urge to hide behind a lamppost.

Rule 4: Respect Your Elders

When it comes to seniors, the “Malakas” ship has sailed. Avoid saying it to folks who’ve seen more birthdays than you – grandparents, uncles, aunts, the whole shebang. Calling them this is like shouting, “I skipped the manners class!”

Rule 5: Sibling Shenanigans

Brothers and sisters, get ready for a plot twist! It’s all chill to drop “Malakas” bombs on your siblings – unless you’re in the middle of a tiff. Yup, even Greek siblings know when to holster this word.

Rule 6: Never use it when you drive

Have you ever seen Greek drivers fighting in the middle of the road after an accident?

It can be quite entertaining, and the cause might not even be the accident itself.

Instead, it could be because one driver called the other ‘Malaka,’ which in this context means ‘idiot,’ ‘incompetent,’ ‘stupid,’ ‘blind,’ ‘can’t you see, you crook?’, ‘did you get your driver’s license at night?’… and all those polite, cosmetic adjectives.

Rule 7: The Greek Riddle

Listen, only Greek Jedi Masters can decode all the secret “Malakas” handshakes. For the rest of us mere mortals, stick to the golden rule: avoid it like a haunted house on Halloween.

So there you have it, language adventurers – a guide to avoiding “Malakas” mishaps. Remember, it’s like a spicy hot sauce – a little can add flavor, but too much will leave you in tears!

When you can call someone Malaka

Hold onto your Malakas hats, folks, because we’re diving deep into the labyrinth of Greek slang!

Saying “Malaka” in Greece is like wearing a secret friendship ring – it only works with your inner circle!

Expressions like ‘ela re malaka‘ (come on Malaka). or ‘na malaka‘ (take them Malaka), or ‘eise enas Malakas‘ (You are such a Malakas), etc… are always welcomed between friends!

But If you’re not exactly BFFs with someone, using this word might unleash the eyebrow raise of doom, after all, is not so polite to call ‘wanker’ a stranger.

Arkas - Behaving as Malakas
Arkas – Behaving as Malakas

Rule 1: The Close-Call Code

You and your pal, both hands on your secret decoder rings, crack a sly smile and drop a casual “Malaka.” Voilà! It’s like saying, “Hey, buddy” or giving a super-secret handshake – the kind that’s part cool, part code.

Rule 2: Sibling Shenanigans

Do you have brothers and sisters? Well, congrats, you’ve got a Malaka pass! Brothers can fling it, sisters can sling it – as long as they’re not in the middle of a sibling showdown.

Rule 3: The Multiverse of Malaka

Brace yourselves for a plot twist, linguists – “Malaka” has more layers than an onion. It’s the Swiss Army knife of Greek slang, with a gazillion uses. But here’s the twist: it’s like the word “run.” You can run a marathon, run errands, or run late – but it’s still just “run.”

Rule 4: Friend or Foe?

This word is like a secret weapon in a superhero’s utility belt – it can mend or break bonds faster than you can say “Malaka!” Imagine saying it to your pals and sparking laughter. But with strangers or even casual acquaintances, it’s like showing up to a costume party dressed as a question mark.

Tourist Tip

If you’re an English-speaking adventurer trying to cozy up with the locals, chances are you’ve heard this word a ton. Good news – tourists get a “Malaka” pass, like a free ride at an amusement park. Still, beware of the teeny-tiny chance of a friendly fire mishap.

In a nutshell, peeps, “Malaka” is your slang sidekick. It can unlock the door to friendship or lead you into a tangled web of miscommunication. So unless you’ve cracked the Malaka code, maybe keep it on the down low. After all, when in doubt, play it safe and save your vocal cords for pronouncing moussaka perfectly!

Bonus tricks for Malakes (wankers)

Hold on tight, because we’re about to dive even deeper into the wild world of “Malakas!”

“Malakas” literally translates to “Masturbator.” Yep, you heard that right – it’s like the Greek slang version of shouting, “Hey, wanker!” But hold your horses, because this word isn’t just about, well, solo endeavors. No, no, my friends, it’s a full-blown character profile, and we’ve got the video receipts to prove it!

Enter: The Ultimate Malakas

If you’ve got a person who’s like a walking embodiment of the term “Malakas.” They’re the real deal – a grand showcase of what this word means in the Greek dictionary of life. We’re talking about the kind of person who might just accidentally step on a banana peel in the middle of an empty street, or who thinks an umbrella is a hat for rainy days. Yep, that’s our Malakas superstar right there!

Action Required: Watch the Video!

But hey, don’t take our word for it – we’ve got visual proof! Check out the video we’ve got lined up, and you’ll get it. It’s like a crash course in Greek slang without textbooks.

Trademark Alert: Malakas Galore!

Now, here’s the kicker: “Malakas” isn’t just a word – it’s a bona fide trademark for Greeks worldwide. Think about it: you’ve got signature Greek stuff like Moussaka, Sirtaki, and now, “Malakas.” It’s like the slang badge of honor that every Greek seems to rock like a pro.

Warm Greek Welcome: It’s Malaka Time!

So, you’ve landed in Greece, ready to soak up the sun, the sights, and, of course, the “Malakas” magic. It’s practically a rite of passage for any traveler. And don’t worry – even if you’re still wrapping your tongue around the word, chances are you’ll hear it more times than you can count. It’s the Greek holiday gift that keeps on giving!

Plot Twist: Embrace the Malakas Way

Hold onto your toga, because here’s the twist – being a “Malakas” isn’t all bad. Nope, not at all! A large percentage of all humans are malakes in some way, to our knowledge in our homeland Corfu, more than 60% of the population are indeed malakes.

On the next page, we’re about to flip the script and show you why it’s not the worst thing that ever happened to you.


So, buckle up, fellow adventurers, because the world of “Malakas” in Malaka’s country is just a click away.

And remember, when in doubt, embrace the spirit, the slang, and the unforgettable journey that comes with it. It’s all part of the glorious Greek experience, Malakas-style!

See on the next page why!

Malakas...to be continue

Excuse our lack of good sources, but who needs sources when this post is written by an original Greek, malaka? Right?

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